A Series of Unfortunate Events

Well, let's see - where do I start with this one? I guess I'll begin with the preface.

Preface:
Jordan had a 3 day fever virus with a low-grade fever last Sunday, Monday, & Tuesday. Then Rachel got this same virus with a higher fever that started on Thursday. So today was day 3 of this virus. By the end of the day, she was starting to feel better so we decide to venture out and see Pixar's "Up" because the boys were dying to see it and to celebrate school being over.

Chapter 1: The Movie:
Rachel started to feel bad again during the movie so she needed to curl up in a lap. Joshua became uninterested in the movie fast. He decided to walk back and forth between all of us and climb from lap to lap and into Rachel's booster seat. As he's doing this, his shoe falls off and falls in between the seats in front of us; he picks up his juice cup and chunks it all the way down the row in front of the people next to us; he decides to drink from my water bottle and pours it all over himself and me. When I tried to make him sit still and stop hanging on the seats in front of us and screaming in the people's ears, he threw a royal fit and screamed even louder right during the completely quiet part of the movie. So Scot had to leave the movie theater with him since he was disturbing everyone around us. Then Rachel decided that she was thirsty for water, but Joshua had thrown the water bottle down on the floor and I couldn't find it in the dark. She then proceeded to melt down because she needed that water! Needless to say, I have never been so happy for a movie to be over!

Chapter 2: The Restaurant
I don't know why we didn't learn our lesson from the movie, but we decided to go to Olive Garden for dinner after the movie. We let the boys pick where to eat as part of their reward for all A's and excellent, commended scores on the TAKS test. So we ventured to Olive Garden figuring food would settle Joshua down (it usually does). We chose a big booth over a table with a high chair for Joshua (BIG MISTAKE!). Scot, Jacob, & Jordan sat on one side. And I sat on the other side between Joshua and Rachel. The first thing Joshua did was empty his diaper bag and throw all the contents on the floor under the table. He then tried to unzip my purse and empty the contents, but I stopped him from that one. He then was picking up everything within his reach from the table and throwing it. I moved everything out of his reach and we placed our drink orders. I knew Joshua was thirsty so when I got his apple juice, I filled up his cup and gave it to him. Then (just like a major league pitcher) he rared back and threw his cup across the table right into Jordan's glass of Dr. Pepper which spilled all over Jacob's lap! Jacob screamed at the top of his lungs, "Joshua!" We were right in the middle of ordering our food so our waiter witnessed the whole thing, actually pretty much everyone in the restaurant within view and earshot of our table witnessed the entire thing. To be honest, I don't remember much about what happened right after that. I think I blacked out from embarrassment. All I know is Jacob went to the bathroom to dry off, Scot took Joshua out of the restaurant, and our waiter ran to get napkins or something like that to clean it up. I also remember hearing a comment from the table next to us that was something like this, "That baby threw his cup and spilled a drink.", followed by hysterical laughter. Once we got our food ordered, we got a high chair and got Joshua semi-settled down with a breadstick. Then Rachel said she needs to go potty. So as we are getting out of the booth to go, she steps in the booster seat that the hostess had brought at the beginning of the meal to put Joshua in at the booth. She falls over, bumps into the high chair, and lands flat on the ground and starts crying and screaming like she's dying. I rushed to the bathroom with her laughing hysterically. People probably thought I was a pretty heartless mother. By the time I got back to the table our food was already there. I said, "That was fast." Scot's response was, "They are probably trying to hurry up and get us out of here." I think this one tops our Bennigan's experience many years ago. Just ask if you want to know about that one.

Chapter 3: Blockbuster/McDonald's
Scot decided that he needed to use a coupon that was about to expire and get another reward for the boys and rent a video game. So on the way home we stopped by Blockbuster. This time we decided to play it safe. Rachel had fallen asleep in the car (feeling bad again). She had fallen asleep in the booth at Olive Garden after her traumatic fall. Rachel, Joshua, and I stayed in the car while Scot, Jacob, & Jordan went into Blockbuster. Rachel woke up and said she needed to go #2. As soon as they got back to the car, I told Scot that Rachel needed to go potty and I was going to run into the adjacent McDonald's to let her go. He decided that he could run into Kroger while Iwas taking her to the bathroom and grab a few groceries. She used the potty in about 2 minutes and we had to wait for Scot to come back and get us. She saw the playground and miraculously felt better. She asked if she could play and I figured as long as we had to wait, sure. So she began to play. She climbed up in the playground and came down the slide and started crying saying she was wet. I looked at her shorts and her entire backside was sopping wet. Then I saw a kid come out of the playground with their drink cup. They had taken their cup in and gotten everything wet. Because the next thing I notice is a puddle of wet stuff on the first step level where you climb up into the playground. Rachel had just gone past this level and as soon as I start to think, "That's dangerous for the playground to be wet." Low and behold - what happens? I hear a gigantic thud and screaming. I run over and there is Rachel laying on her back crying. She had fallen (slipped) from the 2nd step level after slipping on the water. When I picked her up, I stormed off to the ordering counter. I told them that some kid had taken their drink into the playground and gotten everything wet and that my daughter slipped, fell, and hurt herself. My final comment after an evening of frustration (in a very loud voice) was, "You better get someone in there to clean up the playground before someone gets seriously hurt and you get sued!"

The End...
...of a series of extremely unfortunate events!